Life is a plethora of choices I love calling life a smorgasbord. You can go to this table and have a little bit of this, and go over there and have a little bit of that, then dive at the dessert bar.  Today I feel like talking about a big part of the human smorgasbord, and guiding young people. Todays is sex education day. No not sex, AHHHHHHH help help!  Being a health instructor I do see many things that bother me, and are half-truths presented at the entire picture. That is unethical at least, and a bold lie at worst.

Sex education would be very easy if we were amebas, you eat, you split into two, eat more, and split in two again. Even if we were dogs it would be easy, female dog reaches estrus, male dogs smell it, come hit that, then puppies are born.  Do we humans get it that easy, NNNNOOOOOOO! But we can keep perspective on it. I teach sex as I do life. It is another set of choice you will have to make, the more true information you have, the better your choices will be.  So I am going to “fail” abstinence only sex education.

Before any of you release the attack dogs on me, remember I said abstinence ONLY education. First lets examine where healthy sex education and abstinence only education agree. Sex education for young people does and should encourage abstinence. No pregnancy, no infections, no other issues. Now we will branch off where we disagree and where ab-only education fails.

The journal of adolescent health showed that 85% of young people break the until marriage oath. ( people under 20) Not having any other education than don’t do it until married guess what, they go straight to unprotected intercourse. Well we know what is going to happen with unprotected intercourse. So what happens next? Government and busybodies go up in arms over the teen pregnancy rates, and demand more abstinence education to stop the screwing.  The same journal article shows that billions are spent on ab-only education, thing is we the people are financing more and more failure.  Promoting something that is a proven failure confuses me. See no sex, heard no sex, speak no sex is not human nature, and to ask a young person, or any person to fight millions of years of hard wiring is ludicrous. 

The options? Abstinence does include (coughing) masturbation. (whew I said it and the sky did not fall). It is a very valid choice for young people, and is not evil, nor will you go blind. Your body is not filthy, your thoughts and urges are not dirty. They are part of being human. It is really no different that eating or breathing. So you are not going to hell or going to go blind. 90% of all people admit to having done this, 10 % lied about having done this.

Even with in the realm of young persons first romantic relationships it is a sound choice. All kid these days have cell phone, why not call each other while alone, and talk about XXX? Even if they go so far as to (bleep) in the same room, they can agree to a "one must be dressed" contract. They gain the human intimacy, they get the urge out of the way, no pregnancy, no infection, no harm. To counter the argument that this will lead to intercourse faster than abstinence. No, the young people are not thinking in all or nothing. It actually teachs young people negoation and relationships skills. (J Am Psychoanal Assoc. 2008 Mar;56(1):123-46.)

The next option is (if I can say it), “going down.” (wow  I have a filthy mouth today huh? smile) Again they can have a one-person dressed agreement and the others gets to be the “treat.” This does carry more risks, as we are now as high as lottery odds of infection or pregnancy, not zero. It can be mixed with option one to give more things to do other than have intercourse.

Of course next we hit the on the hot topic of news shows. Condoms. There is a mountain of research that demonstrates that this barrier is 98% effective when used properly. They always have been 98% always will be 98%. You get to be far more intimate with your partner, and the risks are now 2 in 100. Actually you still have a higher risk of a car wreck than infection or pregnancy.  Of course those are mathematical odds, children of broken condoms will attest to that.  The odds are not better than outer-course, they are better than unprotected sex, big difference.  But in the universal scheme of things it is far far safer than unprotected sex.

So with young people having options they know of they can make better choices. Virgin until married is a valid choice, being a responsible person with your body is also a choice, neither is completely wrong or completely right. As a health fitness profession I am ethically bound to provide accurate information to empower people.

We need to remind young people, actually all people. It is your life, it is your body, you are in command, you own your decisions. Not some government official, not some yap dog on TV, not some local official, not someone who wants to screw you, nobody is more qualified to say what happens to your body. Everyone has an agenda including you, but we know where the lines are and where when they are crossed.  Anyone who tells you that you are not qualified to make your own choices is not on your side. They are only interested in their own agenda. The first thing any manipulator will do is limit your choices. Life is not that small, don’t let the small brains convince you other wise. Informed consent is your right, and anyone with your best interest in mind will see you have it.

Whew I am not a cold-hearted mean, cruel, evil, amoral individual. Anyone who knows me knows I love seafood. Yummy! Being fathers day guess who gets to pick dinner. Woo hoo!

One draw back about seafood that haunted me in the back of my mind. To cook shellfish they take the crab or lobster, and throw it in a pot of boiling water alive. Some claim to hear it go EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Being the overtly macho guy I am, I think that is terrible I can’t do that to a living thing!  You can hit it between the eyes with an ice pick before boiling, but I doubt many go to the trouble.

Hurrrray for research, and the evidence. A meta-study of literature, EKG & brainwave studies show that they do not suffer. Crustaceans are relatively unchanged for over a billion years, they survive as is and had no reason to change. They are in no way direct ancestors.  More importantly they are nothing more than bugs we are not grossed out eating.

Their nervous system is primitive and it has a nerve bundle not a brain. It can do very very simple learning, but most of its reaction is instinct not thought. So when it thrashes for a few seconds it is reflex not suffering, the nerves and brain cannot register pain, just a rapid temperature change.  The screaming sound is steam going through the shell. Where a higher animal would be terrified, a lobster can’t be, it is not equipped to be.

Yes much of this research was to investigate PETA claims. PETA claims that dropping a pig or a dog into boiling water is the same as a lobster. No it is not, a dog or a pig will suffer and be terrified as they are highly evolved animals with excellent brains and nervous systems. So PETA’s full-page ad is essentially bunk. Say straw man!

I support not being cruel to animals, but when we can eat with no more guilt than squishing a spider, that is different.  A cabbage feels no more suffering being picked, than a lobster being cooked. Crabs are essentially spiders, actually less evolved than spiders. Spiders are much more intelligent tests have shown, some scientists wonder why they never became sentient, they are predatory and can grasp like our early ancestors did, and they do think strategically. (Cold bloodedness and un-evolved respiratory system is probably the answer to no higher evolution)

So pass the plate and some drink, I am not an evil bastard for enjoying my seafood.

Part one here:  http://direwolfghost.multiply.com/journal/item/32

My two favorite Democrats are happy that Hillary finally stepped aside and Obama is going to be the nominee.  Becky is really hoping Obama picks Richards as VP. Especially since news about that one guy writing pedophile books. On the other side she hopes McCain picks Romney, because, well we live in Idaho, McCain is guaranteed four electoral votes, Ron Paul and his 25% is the only one that can mess up McCain out here.

Our big state election will be between Larry LaRocco (D) and Lt Gov Jim Risch (R) for the “retiring” senator Craig. Making Michael Crapo (cray-poe) our Sr Senator. Unless Crapo steals money or has sex with someone other than his wife, that is one of the safest seats in the nation. Republicans want him in important committees as he will be there until he dies.

The other election of interest is for congressional 1, we live in district 2 and I tell my wife that, but she loves to hate this guy.  District 1 runs from the Nevada line North through Owyhee County, all of Canyon County and western Ada county (Meridian), and the panhandle to the Canadian border. We are three to five miles east of the cut off in district two Congressman Simpson of Idaho Falls is our rep.

The individual pictured above makes my wife’s skin crawl.  He got elected (by only 1300 votes) in spite of fellow Republican house speaker calling him an idiot on the news. Congressman Bill Sali actually said on the state house floor that breast cancer is caused by abortions, to a breast cancer survivor. Becky is so pro choice don't even debate it around her, but pay for your own. On Sali’s wiki article some anonymous poster keeps referencing to some non-academic reviewed web site article claiming there is indeed a correlation between abortion and breast cancer. One day that is there, next day gone, then back again. It would be entertaining except for the fact Sali actually believes that breast cancer is really caused by abortions. That is just beyond ridiculous, there is no real evidence of that at all, and to insult women like that, to insult common sense, to insult the office.

My lovely wife in all her Democratic glory (me smiling affectionately, smiles) strongly supports Child Health Insurance Program “CHIP.” Wifey supports the free breakfast and lunch program for school kids, a federal program. Supplemental income for child/day care for low income, so they can work. She supports universal health care that is her really big issue for being pro Obama, his plan is similar to the Germans. (I made no jokes about concentration camp health care, see I am a good husband, smile) Of course Sali has not supported rural schools, and it is no mystery how he votes on the previously mentioned issues. She could deal with him if he was a regular Republican, (she thinks highly of Kempthorn) but her description of Sali starts with fat ass f-ing prick, and gets worse. Oh no wait that is stupid, fat ass f-ing prick. Sorry got it mixed up, grin.  (But we are in district two dear.)

I wonder if my son is Democrat because most teachers are?  Democrats run the teachers union (don’t argue with me my love you know this to be true). 

My spouse and I agree where it counts. She is the hardest working person I have ever met. She is also very unselfish, very loyal, and lives to spend time with family.  She is strongly pro science but accepts intelligence to the universe. Man is God’s image, man uses tools and science why wouldn’t God?  

She wonders why those south of the border can come here and take jobs and are rewarded for it, have babies and get citizenship and more F-ing welfare. That money is for her children and their future, go build you own future. (yeah tell those fools baby woo hoo!) Her grandmother had to learn English to pass citizenship tests (Norwegian). She wonders why can’t the people at the fast food place speak clear English, the fuzzy drive through speaker is bad enough without some thick accent or mental case unable to say burrito.

She is fighting the school on uniforms and forced bilingual education. Supports vouchers because it looks as if our daughter will be in private school because of those policies. 

I know Republican women say “Once you go GOP you will forever love me” but I am content with my blue chick in a red state. Conservative Democrat, grass roots work ethic, and family values feminist, I will take her any day of the week. (No I am not saying that because I am in the dog house, grin) (She might come out with "My life with a Libertarian, can't you people unite? or My Agnostic Dyslexic Husband Questions the Existance of Dog)

Just the Facts!

I used to think that when you wanted to watch drama you would rent or tune into the appropriate program. It seems stupid drama has taken over everything including news programs. Another popular topic this election year is that news media stinks with bias. 

Here is a silly yet somewhat accurate to the style news reports these days

Newsguy: Hello our breaking story at the top of the hour is that the president farted today while in a meeting with the vice president, secretary of defense, and the joint chiefs, lets go to our Washington correspondent.

Washingtonguy: Thank you, yes it is confirmed that while meeting with the vice president, the secretary of state, and the joint chiefs, the president ripped on through his trousers. It was reported to be five to seven seconds long, reverberated his chair, and smelled like sulfur and burnt tires. The secret service escorted the officials out of the Oval Office, and supervised while fans were placed in the office and windows opened. The meeting returned after an all clear was signaled and the Lysol dissipated.  Terrorists are not, I repeat terrorists are not suspected in altering the presidents diet.

Newguy: Thank you, now joining us to sort out what this all means is someone from each party, one of those, and one of these.

One of those: The president handled this appropriately and with honor. The president is only human and this will happen.  What we do need is a committee to establish a flatulence committee so we can have a national presidential gas plan. We would be able to run the country if that other party would shut their yaps.

News guy: Now we will hear from one of these

One of these:  This president is a disgrace, this is proof he talks out his butt.  What is next for this administration pooping in meetings? Will the president meet with the prime minister of Canada, drop his drawers and crap all over him? Where does it end. If that other party had not blocked our crap bill this would not happen. They need to shut their yaps!

Sheep person1: Can you believe those idiots attacking the president!

Sheep person2: What a useless president, talks out his butt sheeze!

Average person: Why did the president call for a meeting with the VP, and the joint chiefs? What did they talk about? What are they planning to do? Hello? Anyone?

When they surveyed college aged people about news and a majority got their daily news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert the news organizations did not think of it as a wake up call, but when on the attack, calling Stewart and college kids idiots. Jon Stewart never claimed to be news, he is on Comedy Central, he is satire. All he does is play back what politicians say, and it is so ridiculous it is funny. It seems claiming to be satire gives him some honestly and credibility so people watch it, figuring it is no less accurate.

It must be that someone well dressed relaying facts is too boring to sell advertising. People think news should be like Indiana Jones, flashy, exciting, and to hell if it is real or not. When a topic is who has the sexiest news reporters, well you see the news in not the issue, entertainment is.

Others do not want to hear facts and draw their own conclusions. They want the facts to support their conclusions true or not. They want the truth packaged in a pretty little box, with a pretty ribbon, so they never have to open it and look inside. Their little bubbles all secure and happy, the happy bubble of denial, instead of knowing it might pop, and being able to adjust real life with real information.

People want drama, emotion, and to call others idiot. It is exactly like that moment of hate Orwell warned us about in 1984. Trained journalist with ethics review processes have been replaced with pundits.  Pundits then say the most outrageous stuff to “piss off” the other side, then the other side responds, on and on we go. There is a market for that, but it should not be considered mainstream news.  People do not trust the news, yet we need to make important decisions, black market news is getting popular, but as with any information buyer beware. Provided one does think and not just blindly accept any info to keep their happy little bubble intact.

Truth is not a purchase decision, you can’t say I paid for truth I get what I want, it had best say what I want or it is not the truth, I want it all, and I want it now! Truth is not a made to order commodity with pretty colors and fancy widgets. Truth requires a validity process to check integrity, check the facts to support the conclusion, and potential falsification must be admitted. Truth can be ugly and one must face that, but when the truth is pretty, you can know for sure it is real, thus the beauty is more than skin deep.

And that’s a fact jack!

It is funny how things work very similarly in micro scale and macro scale. I was thinking how this works with appeasement, negotiation, and bullies.  I am saying that appeasement is not negotiation.  It is a horrible strategy actually.

On a micro scale remember the bully to took lunch money? Nearly every school had one. Each day certain kids would just pony up, and go hungry or hide other money.  Then in history when the viking would invade, often kings would pay tribute to not be invaded. I am sure the viking laughed as they hauled off the money.  All the vikings had to do is return anytime and collect more easy money.  They had no reason to do otherwise.

Another appeasement I see alot of, and really annoys me is bratty kids.  Bratty kids are bratty because they learned to get what they want by being brats. The brat in a checkout line crying and screaming to get a candy bar, on and on, and finally the parent just gives them one to shut them up.  No requirement of asking properly, no negotiation of how to earn a candy bar, here you go let me reward your bad behavior. It might just start with a candy bar, but where does it end?  Criminal appeasement? Let's not go there, ski mask or suit, both types of criminals think they are entitled to appeasement.  Then laugh when the "criminal sentence" is a joke.

Romantic relationship bullies look for women (or persons) with low esteem that can be isolated. Nothing a little baby boy mind fears more than to think of relating to a woman as an equal. That is hell on earth to the relationship bully.  If the woman is confident, and has people she can depend on, a stalker will choose an easier target.  When a woman (and some men) think they cannot live with the other, their life becomes a huge appeasement fest. Academically called an enabler.

The only time I would think appeasement is prudent is say a mugger jumps out and points a weapon, and demands your wallet. Especially if I am with family, the money is not worth it. But once the mugger clears out, I am going to the police, I am writing to the paper, I am giving each and every detail I remember.  Might even consider returning to that spot if the criminal works that area, only this time the odds are even. Bullies hate an even match. Or if the vikings or barbarians are going to attack, pay tribute to buy time for form alliances and raise an army.

Appeasement only rewards bad behavior.  I am all for creating a culture of law and order. I appreciate that some folks are disadvantaged, were abused, and even worse. That is a separate issue. If Tommy is walking down the street and a bully knocks his ice cream cone to the ground. Don't demand Tommy "just understand" and do nothing, because the bully is "just that way." Nor should Tommy suddenly go knocking others kids ice cream cones to the ground.  Don't punish Tommy for trying to trip the bully as he runs away after spilling the ice cream. Reward the bully with consequences appropriate to his actions.  Work to pay back the ice cream, a visit to parents (provided they care), a talk with the sheriff, something to guide the bully to better choices. Anything but "put up with it."

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Bratty kids, immature romantic partners, terrorists, barbarians, corporate suits, elected suits, even other nations. Obviously these bullies will do some damage and cause inconvenience in the short term, but in the long run we are all safer because they will not be appeased, and will be denied their unlawful demands. 

Something that has always made me uncomfortable on May 3^rd is that my wife’s and my father’s birthday are on the same day.  It has gotten a bit worse over the years and drives me batty. 

First off my parents no longer are married and do not live together, actually they do not speak and have disowned each other.  My father and Becky do not really get along either, and my step mom and Becky are not going to be close. All tolerate each other and work to get along for the sake of the rest of us. We appreciate and understand this.

Each year about a week or two before this day my father will ask if we are coming to his house to celebrate birthdays.  Of course one would ask this it is only logical.  What makes it awkward for me is that I am my father’s only son, and hate to not be there. However obviously I am my wife’s only husband. (Unless she has news for me ha ha) I hate the thought of leaving someone out on their day.

I do feel I have a stronger obligation to my spouse. Her comfort, safety and well being are my responsibility. So it is a given one would indulge their spouse on their birthday.  Most of the time my wife wants my mom to come over, and they go shopping and have dinner at a restaurant. That is a very reasonable request for one’s birthday, and my mom likes doing that. 

However me knowing this I dread the call from my father, and begin to think of alibis to decline going to his house without insulting.  I know he would be unintentionally hurt knowing Becky wants to see my mom (her mother in law) and not bring the grand kids and such and celebrate at his house.  But again my obligation is to my spouse first. I send a card, and gift, and am sure to call him. I also place high on the list to get see him soon. It is the best I can do, but I still feel bad.

I really need to stop the alibi thing, because it is dishonest in all reality. It might be a white lie to save feelings, but if something has lie in it’s name, that makes what it is academic.  Grey area is for politician and defense lawyers who play games something is true, or it is not true. I should just suck it up and say what her plans are, what I intend to do, and when I plan on seeing my father again. Polite but “this is how it is” sort of thing.

I did not set out to marry someone with the same birthday, I did not cause my parents to part ways, so any issue is not my fault. My father has a large stepfamily to spend this day with so there is no loss.

Of course lying is not any solution. How can I be a good spouse, a good father, a good health professional, or even a good person if I am a liar?  If you tell lies, the only logical conclusion is that you get exposed as a liar. Then any thing you have said, any thing you say, or anything you say in the future is questioned because those who must count on you exposed you as a liar.  (Crying wolf)

I it seem there really is not any moral dilemma, just correct action, and me cutting through the crap.